You can hide a lot in a navy jumpsuit, Mr. Fabio. You can also sweat through it and play it off as a just a darker shade of navy. Which is actually the key to staying trim - playing shows in bars with no A/C in the middle of July. As The-Dream once said: sweat it out ... sweat it out ... sweat it ouuutttttt.
What does a top flight soccer star do when he's suspended from competition? Catch up on the midwest funk cover band scene, I guess. In this hypothetical bite happy world I'm going to assume I can pick from past and present athletes, so if I could bite any athlete maliciously like you do, Mr. Suarez, I'd pick in-his-prime John Starks. Can you imagine his reaction? He'd probably kill me and get kicked out of the league, thus preventing us from experiencing that time he dunked on MJ and Horace.
If I could bite any athlete for joy and sustenance I'd go with the round mound of rebound, Sir Charles Barkley.